


come on and slam

by mothmanfucker666



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Ryan Bergara Is A Himbo, Shane's Weird Old Tweets, The Space Jam Soundtrack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25499518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanfucker666/pseuds/mothmanfucker666
Summary: Shane Madej @shanemadej · Apr 27, 2009If we're ever in a room together and I put on the Space Jam soundtrack, what it means is that we're about to have sex.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Marielle Scott (mentioned), Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin (mentioned)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 118





	come on and slam

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SILLY but i saw this old-ass tweet of shane's and it made me wanna write something!! and then raine told me i should so i had to. so here's this short-but-sweet lil thing! thanks to the server for indulging my silly bullshit again! 
> 
> title from space jam by quad city djs... unbeta'd because i'm lazy and this is just a stupid little Thing

_Shane Madej @shanemadej · Apr 27, 2009  
If we're ever in a room together and I put on the Space Jam soundtrack, what it means is that we're about to have sex._

It's a funny tweet, Ryan thinks, something that would've made him laugh regardless of the source. But the fact that _Shane_ is the one that tweeted it makes him laugh about ten times harder. Something about the fact that eleven years ago, Shane announced to God and all of Twitter that he liked to fuck to the Space Jam soundtrack was just ─ it was _hilarious_ , okay?

But after he hits retweet, Ryan just sort of forgets all about it. He's a busy guy, after all. It's not like it's anything more than a stupid, funny old tweet of Shane's.

─

The next day is a Saturday, and Ryan and Shane have plans to hang out pretty much all day. Ryan ignores the way Mari teases him about the 'date' ─ it's _not_ a date, even if Ryan sort of definitely wants it to be, alright? Sometimes bros go to Universal to hang out all day. Sometimes bros walk a little closer together than usual. Sometimes one bro will catch the other's pinky finger with his own, his face bright pink with a blush as he steadily avoids his bro's eyes ─

Okay, this metaphor is getting away from him. And also, what the _hell_ , Shane?

So they hold hands at Universal, big deal. So Shane spends half the day blatantly flirting with him, occasionally checking him out. So what? That doesn't make this a date, does it?

... Does it?

"Was this a date?" Ryan blurts on the way home. Shane pauses, looking over at him. He's blushing again. Ryan blinks owlishly at him, glad they're in the back of an Uber and that he's not driving.

"Um. Is that a trick question?" Shane asks carefully. "Ryan, when I asked you to go out with me, I literally used the word 'date'."

Ryan pauses, considering that. "Oh,' he says, then, " _Oh._ Okay. I ─ Okay. Fuck. I kind of thought it was a joke." Shane looks sort of put-out at that, so Ryan meets his eyes and reaches out to take Shane's hand, his own expression one of fierce determination. "Cool."

"Cool?" Shane echoes, but he's smiling now as he laces his fingers with Ryan's. "You're an idiot, Ry."

"Shut up, Shane," Ryan grins, and squeezes Shane's hand.

─

When they get back to Shane's place, Shane declares that he's too lazy to make dinner, and orders Thai instead. They eat on the couch, much closer than they usually sit, and sip wine with something Shane chooses playing quietly in the background. Ryan distantly recognizes it as a mix of 90's rap and R&B, which is a little weird for Shane, but ─ he's a weird guy, so Ryan doesn't think much of it.

It's not until near the end of their meal that Space Jam by Quad City DJs comes on, and Ryan abruptly realizes shenanigans are afoot.

"Shane," Ryan says slowly, setting his plate down. Shane looks up at Ryan, raising his eyebrows in a wordless question. Ryan points at him. "Did you put on the Space Jam soundtrack?!"

Shane pauses, setting aside his own plate as well. He turns and looks over his shoulder at his speakers, then looks back at Ryan. "Huh. I guess I did," he says, and Ryan can tell from the way his lips are twitching that he's trying not to smile.

Ryan is also trying not to smile when he says, "Are you trying to seduce me with ─ with fucking _Space Jam_?"

Shane shrugs, stretching and leaning languidly back against the arm of the couch. He flashes Ryan a mischievous smile, and even has the audacity to _wink_. "I dunno. Is it working?"

"Is it ─ of course it's not working!" Ryan huffs, but he's crawling forward to kneel in the vee of Shane's legs anyway, his hands settling on the arm of the couch behind Shane. Shane wiggles his eyebrows, and Ryan finally breaks, hiding his face against Shane's chest as he laughs. Shane laughs, too, one arm coming to rest on Ryan's back carefully. He seems uncertain as to whether or not he's allowed to touch.

"You're so cute," Shane murmurs softly after a minute or so, and Ryan pulls back a little. He wants to be indignant, but the expression on Shane's face is so openly affectionate that it catches him off guard, makes heat rise to his cheeks.

"Shut up," Ryan says instinctively, moving one hand to cup Shane's stubbly jaw. "You're so dumb. I hate how much I'm into it."

Shane smiles, and the hand on Ryan's back slides up into his hair instead. "What're you gonna do about it?" he teases.

Ryan rises to the bait, of course, and closes the distance between them to finally, _finally_ kiss Shane the way he's been dreaming about doing for years.

When Ryan finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against Shane's, smiling at him with a sort of fond exasperation. "If we take this party to the bedroom, can we listen to _my_ music?" he asks, plucking at one of the buttons on the front of Shane's shirt.

"I could be convinced," Shane says offhandedly, and Ryan rolls his eyes, leaning in to kiss down along the long, long line of Shane's neck.

"I can't suck your dick to R. Kelly, man. Talk about a boner kill," Ryan murmurs, then bites down lightly and starts to suck a mark.

"You're lucky Sara likes seeing other peoples' marks on me," Shane teases breathlessly, his grip on Ryan's hair twitching tighter, but he's already scrambling to disconnect his phone from the speakers with his free hand.

"I can tell she does. She always stares when you have hickeys," Ryan replies when he's done, and he slides out of Shane's lap to get to his feet. "C'mon, let's go to your bedroom. I don't want Obi to watch."

"Maybe he likes watching," Shane snickers, but he stands as well, taking Ryan's hand in his. "By the way, I'm telling everyone I seduced you with the Space Jam soundtrack. Worked like a charm."

"You are _not!_ "


End file.
